I have got like a thousand thoughts running through my head now. I think I'm gonna explode. That aside.

I can't really describe how I really feel now. I just wanted to blog. Its a feeling of mixed emotions; Pissed, screwed, crap, shit (crap and shit has no difference anyway. I just wanted to type them out.) and so much more. I actually feel like disfiguring myself now. And I reaaally feel like cutting my hair short. The kind of destroyed hair (thou mine's destroyed enough.) And I even felt like shaving it bald. Which is totally impossible. But yah. I acutally thought, thought of it.

And all I really want to do now is go for tuition. I just want to. Ironic, but true. I want to sit trough classes when I'm feeling down. Even though nothing can really get into my head. So, I've decided that I'll be continueing Amath classes after Emath. Most probably. Will decide later on.

And I deleted my post I blogged earlier on in school, Just to avoid misunderstandings.

I don't want to talk to anyone now. I just want to sit through classes. And stare, and take down notes, I think. Or maybe if I could, I'd just blog and blog and blog till its 3 pages long. If only I had that much brainjuice to think of a 3-page long blog post, I swear I would. But until then, I'll just have to make do with this.

Everything went wrong today. I sat through class with this feeling of keeping my mouth shut. I didn't want to talk, and I felt really weak to talk. I don't know why.

God, Christine! How stupid could you get?!

And for the first time of my life, I actually hate. Hate myself. I so feel like stabbing that bitch I see everyday when I stare into the mirror.

Christine: Yah Bitch.
Me: Exactly Bitch.
Christine: OMG, high five! We're both bitches!

OH MY GOD CHRISTINE, YOU ARE SO DUMB, not forgetting lame.

***

I can't pretend I don't care,
when you don't think about me.

I tried to make you happy but you left anyway.

I think you know that it's true,
I'd go a thousand miles to get you.

I tried to make you happy,
I did all that I could.
Just to keep you,
But you left anyway.

How long will I be waiting?
Until the end of time,
I don't know why I'm still waiting.
I can't make you mine.

Heartbreaker.

You're voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I don't wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
3:54 PM